When you think you see me

Never Silence the Madness

When she comes

It may be indistinguishable to you

You glance at me

And I smile back in return

Not one dew drop on my skin

You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have

You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner

You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle on every meal

You imagine the organized perfectly placed items on my desk

The friends I must surround myself with

The laughs I share

The memories I must have accumulated from the amazing life I lead

But you don’t know

You don’t know I’m tormented by something I want to call a she

Because what else could she be

She’s jealous

And controlling

She’s slick

And manipulative

She slithers gracefully

But a bite so poisonous

It creeps so slowly

Like Guillain-Barre

starting from my toes

Nerve by nerve

Muscle weakness

Lung paralysis

I cannot breathe

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Don’t lift me up to drop me 

Never Silence the Madness

I wrote this poem September 27, 2016

I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing.

Don’t you lift me up to drop me…

Don’t you dare fill me to the brim just to knock me over

The time it took to fill me

Drip by drip

Compliment after affection

Good deed after kisses on foreheads

Factor in the evaporation  equation

The occasional sip

Don’t you dare resuscitate this dying heart of mine

Just to pull the plug as I dream

As the pressure builds within my chest and the butterflies

Fling themselves against the walls of my thoracic cavity

Please don’t  intubate me

When its apparent that I can’t catch my breath

Don’t be afraid that I will detonate as the pressure becomes to strong for me…

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Dating Someone with Anxiety

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Words Running through my Fingertips

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Heart full of Tangled Emotions

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Howl in hysterics

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I dance my way onward

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Woman Scorned

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Goals for 2018

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Hydration at its Finest

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Tame Me

via Daily Prompt: Tame Tame We knew what we were getting into When we set ourselves on the path Of falling in love The stars sang it to be so They said our skulls would be so thick We wouldn’t hear the mumbles coming from each others lips They said we would fight to be... Continue Reading →

The war between what I “believe” to be true

via Daily Prompt: Believe Believe The war between what I believe to be true And what my demons whisper Take my faith on a whirlwind roller coaster I am sorry that I hurt you That I take your love And your care That I take your gentle caress And each inch of effort that you... Continue Reading →

Lost Hills

Exit to the lost hills it said   Eerie it sounds Terrifying to most But somehow My first thought was I’d like to go there How scary could the lost hills be When I’m already lost Inside of me When I’ve been running blind for years There’s comfort in those lost hills Where one is... Continue Reading →

When you think you see me

When she comes It may be indistinguishable to you You glance at me And I smile back in return Not one dew drop on my skin You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle... Continue Reading →

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