Little Seed Planted in My Heart

Whispers fill the room  I can visualize it  Like the notes on sheet music  Flowing through  Singing tune . . It’s like a little seed planted in my heart Fertilized by anxiety And the palpitations start  . . I cannot unsee  What I think I have seen  . . Befell The horror stories on my... Continue Reading →

Delusions of Grandeur

With empty eyes  And a hollow heart  You looked at me that night  . . You said goodbye  With your chest puffed up Above my line of sight  . . Peering down  It’s plain as day to see  You move with an air of confidence Arrogance  Far far better than me . . Their whispers... Continue Reading →

Falling Toward a Ground that was Never Meant to Catch You

They say my head is in the clouds  Why?  I dream too much?  I think too highly of myself?  My judgment is cloudy? . . . They say to get my head out of the clouds Why?  Envious of the extent in which I dream?  Of the height I allow myself to fall from?  Because... Continue Reading →

Not Sure What To Think…

So, a few weeks ago, I had a dream about my mom for the first time in a while. There wasn't a storyline, just a bunch of flashes. Random scenes and a general overall feeling of panic. The entire dream, all I felt was dread. I had no idea why I hadn't talked to my... Continue Reading →

In My Darkest Moments, I Have Still been Someone’s light

Today, I was honored to be presented with the DAISY award at my job.  It is an award to thank nurses for their compassion and skill.  You are nominated by patients, their family members, staff, or anyone that experiences or observes your extraordinary compassionate care.   I received a beautiful bouquet, A hand carved statue called... Continue Reading →

Stunned at Your Vacuity

We spent the night together  Wrapped in each other’s arms  We tumbled through the universe  Kept each other warm  . . . We melded together  Until our skin became one  And when we relaxed under the stars Our breath sang songs until the sun  . . . In the morning  I starred deeply into your... Continue Reading →

Pit Stops

I can trace back the memories  Like a roadmap of my life  . . . Each pit stop  A part of my undoing  . . . Each rest stop  A natural high  . . . You ask me not to look back  At the hurt I have been caused  . . . But each landmark ... Continue Reading →

I Can’t Unsee It Now

I looked out into the world And I saw it . . . We are all main characters in our own books  . . . I couldn’t unsee what I had seen  All of us walking around with pages and chapters  . . . With bookmarks to save the important parts  . . . With... Continue Reading →


She told him . . “I want nothing  I am ninety-one Please let me go”  . . He looked at her solemnly  . . “Don’t make me do this,  No”  . . She took his hand and said  . . “I lost the greatest love of my life ten years ago And I have loved... Continue Reading →

You Will Be Just As Happy As Me

I spoke to her in awe  In her seasoned age she had no flaws  . . With her lipstick placed  Her nails bright red  And her night cap made of lace  . . She regaled  on her love of dance  her family  and her lows  . . She sang of all the ways She loved... Continue Reading →

Emergency Room War Zone

As I walk through the threshold  I am assaulted by the sight  . . The smells pummel through me  The energy as dark as night  . . Screams heard from every corner  Howls of despair  the wailing of fear  . . A man crying over limbs that should still be there  . . A woman... Continue Reading →

I Hope You Are Dancing In Your Sleep

I ran to him . . “Are you okay?”  . . his expression brightened up like the sun  . . “I want to go dancing”  . . He smiles  . . And I laugh to join the fun  . . Tomorrow I heard you are no longer speaking  . . Your breath was taken from... Continue Reading →

I Saw The Way You Looked At Him

I saw the way you looked at him -Enamored  . . Like he was the one that broke the mould . . you loved him  With appreciation  . . He was Midas  And you wanted to live surrounded by his gold  . . I saw the way he looked at you  -Enamored  . . He... Continue Reading →

Who Are We?

As the stars turn above us,  Your head upon my chest. Your skin pressed against mine Our bodies made to rest . . I lose the line between who we are  Because  Who are you ? And who is she ? As the stars turn above us  Is it really important?  The “who are we?”... Continue Reading →

She Loved Until She Lost Herself

She loved until she lost herself She gave until she was empty She hung on until her fingers bled And her hourglass was hungry . . She was an inveterate long time lover each chapter in her life sewn together neatly between each love . . Never knowing how to say goodbye Never knowing when... Continue Reading →

It’s Where Your Compass Leads You

You said you dreamt of it once  . . a freckle  . . Like a kiss upon her thigh  . . It’s where all the roads are traveled  It’s where your compass leads you  . . It’s where the time goes  When it flies by  , , It winks at you  . . like a... Continue Reading →

The Bridge Between Our Souls

When our hands touch  I am awakened  . . Our fingertips  The bridge between our souls  . . Blood flowing Vibrating with electricity  . . Tantalizing  Brewing , A potion that cannot be undone  . . Because I want you more today than yesterday  And I know I’ll still want you more when the day... Continue Reading →

Where Were You ?

They asked you for help . . With their silent eyes  They called for you  In their muted tears  They screamed for you to see them  . . Where were you, then?  . . Making choices for “their best interests”  Not caring when they told you They felt helpless . . I’m sorry children You... Continue Reading →

How Dare You

I have  been through a war  Bullets flying pass my face  Tip toeing around the grenades  . . I lived through the smoke  bounded by chains . . I have been through it all Fighting for equality  Fighting for freedom  Fighting for life  . . I’ve lived through the protests  I marched for theirs  Like... Continue Reading →

I Saw The Hate In Your Eyes

I saw the hate in your eyes  It was clear as day  . . The disregard for a life  That you will soon take away  . . No cries from the helpless Found its way into your soul?  . . No tears from the defenseless  Made you want to make a different call?  . .... Continue Reading →

We Were Meant For Different Loves

What we meant to each other  Was something much larger than us  . . . It was hopes  And dreams  . . . It was goals  And love  . . . It was fear  And disappointment  . . . It was longing  It was loss  . . . I will always remember the way your... Continue Reading →

Back To A Time

sifting through a box of old things Book after book pamphlet after pamphlet  treatise on anxiety and depression  . . . I am brought back to a time  when our lives were dictated by school bells  And seating charts  . . . Where one rumor  Became our entire world  And one heartbreak  Was announced through ... Continue Reading →

I Can’t Be Mad At You

I can’t be mad at you You stole my heart  You tricked me  . . . I can’t be mad at you  I walked toward you with a veil over my eyes  You led me blindly  You robbed me  . . . And I let you  . . . How can I be mad at... Continue Reading →

You Are No Longer Mine

I read somewhere  That you were no longer mine  . . That you finally opened up your heart  And honestly, It was about time . . I read somewhere  That you no longer belonged to me . . That our memories  Are no longer cherished  It’s not my heart that holds your key  . .... Continue Reading →

That Could Be Me

I saw her scars  Evidence of a life  Where great just wasn’t good enough Where She was always just one nip away from perfect  One tuck away from perfection  One stitch away from happiness  I saw  her eyes of desperation  As she picked at things I could not see  Although I was happy to oblige ... Continue Reading →


I wish I could make it stop  I do  It’s like Playing jenga Trying to figure out the puzzle when it was already whole to begin with  Every piece  A clue that I must pull out and dissect  poking holes through my own logic  Seeing through my own thoughts  Piling on top of each other ... Continue Reading →

With All My Heart

With all my heart  I want you in my life forever I want you there to rock me when I’m sick I want you there, for me to cradle when you’re lonely.  I want forever with you I want always with you I want your laugh  And your anxiety  I have endless questions  And I... Continue Reading →

You Aren’t My Type

You arent my type  You are bland to my taste buds  You are too clear  Too obvious  Too transparent  I read you like crystal  You just aren’t my type  You, tall glass of refreshment  Meant to quench my thirst  Hydrate my dry desert skin  But I do not trust you  Or maybe,  I trust you... Continue Reading →

So, This is What it Feels Like…

He looked at me while I spoke  Eyes burning into my own  Not an empty gaze  But strong, with intent  I knew the words coming from my mouth were nonsense  The topic, trivial  Just one of those conversations that Quite honestly,  Could have never happened  And it wouldn’t have changed a thing in the world ... Continue Reading →


When I met you  Early on  You filled with me with so much hope  We dreamt together  About our future  About our goals  Where this life would lead us  All the paths  we could take The possibilities endless  But you turned on me  Devious  Maniacal  Sadistic  You stole all my desires  And locked me within... Continue Reading →

A World Surrounded Her That Was Always Somehow Unreachable

I looked her in the eye  And I told her how amazing she was I told her she was beautiful  I told her she was special  All she heard was  Her face lacked angles  All she felt was the way her tears fell from her eyes  At any hint of emotion   How she always... Continue Reading →

My Hope Is that You Also Love Me For The Changes I Bring

I hear the “pitter-patter”  Of the rain outside Not long ago The sun  Stared with an intensity Of a loyal wife  Who has laid eyes on her husband  Being a tad less than that How labile this world is  I curse it But then I see a reflection of myself  For I am the sun... Continue Reading →

A Few Words I Know I’ll Never Hear

writing prompt from HITRECORD : A Few Things I Needed to Hear... From You I am sorry that I hated you  through your innocence  Every move you made Irked me to my core  And I had to make you feel it  I am sorry  I am sorry that I made him choose me When he... Continue Reading →

Soaked In The Salty Air

It smelled of musty air Saturated in salt Surrounded by unparalleled darkness I knew blindly that there was an ocean beside me  Filled with life   Housing a world we barely have knowledge of  I catch a glimpse  Like a flashlight  Offering a gift  The waves crash upon each other  Beautifully dangerous  Unabashedly uncaring  I’m... Continue Reading →

On Most Days

On most days She wakes up hours before I do She jumps on my chest Searing pain Breathless  On most days I’m too tired to take her to the park She barks at me  Begging  “I’m boooored”  I can hear her thinking  On most days  I know she deserves more  She looks at me She... Continue Reading →

My Fear

I remember what it felt like To laugh with you To watch your face turn red  laughing so hard You couldn’t breathe I remember laughing with you  All my muscles go weak falling to the floor  You just got me Conversations with you Were like portals into my own mind  The sincerity of our confidence... Continue Reading →

That Much I Know

With so much unknown in the world today There is an abundance of  Fear Sadness Confusion With a reality so new to us  There is an overflowing amount of  Resistance Question Panic  The FACT of the matter is despite what anyone says There is definite  Loss  Loss of what life once was Loss of loved... Continue Reading →

At The End Of a Very Dark Road

How ominous this random solitary toaster at the end of a very dark road causing me to hesitate  Forebodingly  It stares at me Daring me  To come into the darkness  I cannot look away I cannot take a step As if a coyote were in it’s place  How ominous  This solitary toaster Sitting at the... Continue Reading →


Sometimes  She wants to scream Scream so loud  The ghosts from her past  Hear and cower  But All she can do  Is whisper  Salty tears into a towel  Late at night  Muffling her deafening cries so she doesn’t wake the neighbors  She shakes from the anger  She suffocates from the sadness  Each nostril plugged by... Continue Reading →

Green With Envy

They do not know I see them I spy on them, green with envy As I cling on to the ledge Heavy with the burden  and no ground to land on All my strength just so that I could see, everything unattainable to me. Write a story or poem of 5 Lines or Less Use the picture and/or the word spy as... Continue Reading →

I Probably Shouldn’t Say This

She says it’s confidential  She says it’s confrontational  I probably shouldn’t say this  She wouldn’t want me to But who cares  She’s filled to the brim with anger  It is squeezing out of every seam Orafices  Dripping Like an addict She’s trembling  What does it all mean?  She loves with all her heart  But she... Continue Reading →

We Are All Just Fireflies

She is a speck  In a world of almost 8 billion people  She sees us all like fireflies  Her light  Flickering  Light bulb on the verge of burning out  Struggling to emanate the bright  Surrounded by the darkness of the night  But here she still is ,  GLOWING 

You Thought She Was Your Salvation

She touched your hand  And your anger faded away She hugged you  And you melted  But like the sun on a nightwalkers skin  Ashes to ashes  You died from within You felt her like the sun A warmth you hadn’t felt in years  She embodied hope  But she also embodied all your fears  A chain... Continue Reading →

This Fickle Heart Of Mine

The first thing that came to mind  When reading the word VAULT Was the inner workings of my heart  Code to crack  Difficult to get in Thick walls  But nearly indestructible  My vault of a heart  Holds all my deepest secrets  All my memories  All my pain  Sometimes it’s  Stronger than it’s own good  Barring... Continue Reading →

Isn’t It Curious

The universe tends to work in very mysterious ways  Breadcrumbs  nudges  Whispers  To the right direction  Sometimes it is the direction we desire  Sometimes it’s in the direction that breaks your heart  But it is very curious  The way that the universe tends to work  When we ask it For answers  #Fandango's One Word Challenge... Continue Reading →

The Thorns On My Salvation

They walk past me with mournful eyes Shaking their heads in disappointment “Why do you hold on so tight?  The thorns piercing your skin?  Your blood dripping so bright?” They do not understand There is no need to die  Giving them my last breath  As I lay him down Tuck him in  And shower him... Continue Reading →


Every morning the sun would rise  Every morning  That sun rose with pride  Boasting in his brightness  Full and larger than life  He thought to himself  “Every night, they are saddened with darkness,  Every morning, they need me to light their way,  I am what they wait for as their head touches their pillow, My... Continue Reading →

A Flowered Crown Upon My Head

Walking along the stoney path Fingers grazing the brick bridge wall  I hear her humming  The most feminine tune  And I wonder what beauty I might befall  I peer across O’ I am so lucky to see  And angel prancing along the meadow  But then she stops to look at me  The heat within me... Continue Reading →

“If She Loves You, She Can be Any Kind Of Tornado She Wants” -Fitz

She barreled through your life Like a stampede  She dismantled all your walls  You fought to keep her out  But she saw through that facade  She made you uncomfortable  She made you question  She made it hard for you to breathe  She tore through your life And  made you want to leave You opened your... Continue Reading →

Little Did He Know

He said to me  “You are being explosive ”  Little did he know,  There was a tornado inside me that I was holding back from  being released. He said to me “You are teetering on the edge” Little did he know, I tip-toed the tight-walk for miles before I got here He doesn’t know I... Continue Reading →

My Hands Are Your Hands

My hands are your  hands  In the daintiness that they lay  In the chubbiness that our fingers sit  In the thickness that our nails grow Your hands are my hands  In the way that you snap your fingers as you dance And flip your long hair  And twirl your rings My hands are your hands ... Continue Reading →

My Heart Hurts From All the Things I Can’t Do With You Mother

Dear Mother,  There are so many things that I still wanted to do with you.  We always talked about more dances together.  We have gone out dancing together twice in our lives.  I thought we had so many more late nights left to go.  We joked about loving dancing so much, we would go out,... Continue Reading →

Self Love is Where Mirrors Do Not Exist

The funny thing, or not so funny thing,  about our perception of beauty towards others and towards ourselves, is that they are on completely different scales.  I run around all day seeing the beauty in other women.  I hear their insecurities, but think how there is no need for the harsh words they tell themselves. ... Continue Reading →

Angels Show Up in the Most Random Places

After losing my mom, I was flooded with messages from friends and family sending their love and condolences.  I found myself finding solace in talking about what happened.  In random conversation, I would start to talk about my loss, to anyone close enough to listen.  Coworkers in the break room,  friends on social media, any... Continue Reading →

I Love That…

I love that I think of you In the moments that I am the most myself In the moments that I am the most bare In the moments that I am just me You pop into my mind I love that I think of you In the moments that I am so passionate When I... Continue Reading →

Underneath the Billowing Sea

Sitting upon the dock one day I stared out into the ocean Deep blue waters Swelling with each wave And appeared such a notion The fear of what is down there Underneath the billowing sea The fear of what is buried, deep inside of me What creatures linger ? What monsters hide ? As I... Continue Reading →

Where is this place I want to see ?

Odd that it seems like a place of perfection  Empty valley  Like a cave within the ground  High walls made of grass  Sun touching every surface  Except the one place right in the middle  One tree  Providing much needed protection from the light I want to lay there  I want to lay there all day... Continue Reading →

The Battle of Feeling Beautiful Enough For a Picture

I still battle every picture to feel beautiful. I still feel insecure without make up. I still like a filter or two. But, at least it is still me. Not a dog Not a unicorn Not some mystical mermaid One day I will beat this battle to feel BEAUTIFUL enough for a picture. I will be Bare faced and beautiful I will be flaws and all beautiful I will amazon warrior this battle to feel beautiful And I will be proud of it.

She Said Your Name Yesterday

She said your name yesterday I had forgotten about the good days Four years had already passed I didn’t think of us much Memories were filtered by my teeth As I vented back then about the days my heart broke The disgusting taste that was left on my tongue As I flossed the plaque away... Continue Reading →

This Wasn’t Her First Time

This wasn’t her first time She knew what she was doing to herself What she didn’t know was what she was doing to the ones around her She looked back at a text message “I can’t do this anymore” Unrecognizable She asks “Did I write this? When?!” He tells her “Right before” He tried to... Continue Reading →

Excuse My Crazy

I want to highlight this exceptional woman. She is superwoman. She just started her blog, and every post has been honest and raw. She is a fellow anxiety survivor. She is a mom sharing her journey. She has blown me away and I want you to be able to love and appreciate her as well.

The Mombie Blog

“Ugh, there you go crying again.”

“I’m tired and I don’t care.”

“Leave me alone stop talking to me, I have work in the morning and I don’t wana hear it.”

“Your a cry baby, full of drama, everyone says it, everyone talks about it.”

“There you go again saying crazy stuff that doesn’t make sense”



“You choose to argue, you choose to act crazy”

“You just want to pick a fight”

“Ughhhhhh leave me alone and don’t bother texting me tomorrow apologizing”

“You choose to be like this”

“What do you want!”

“Stop yelling and leave me alone”

“Your fine”

“Take your pills”


“Go lay down”

“Go to you mom’s house and cry to your parents”

I’m sorry I don’t know how to unload my anxiety

I’m sorry I want to Express myself so my chest…

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I received this message this morning as I woke up and the feeling of constant dread that I have had since taking my NCLEX suddenly faded away. This journey to my RN has been an extremely long one. Not just the prerequisite classes that I was taking in my early twenties, but from the beginning... Continue Reading →

Countdown To The NCLEX

For those of you that don’t know what the NCLEX is, it is a giant test that stands between you and your dream of being a nurse.  It is a test to verify that you have enough knowledge in that pretty little noggin’ of yours to provide safe and quality care to your patients.  It... Continue Reading →

My Heart In Pieces

How do I feel whole When my heart is scattered?   Scattered along the paths I've walked   Like breadcrumbs to remind me of my journey   I can look behind me And see the pieces of my heart   The pieces that are too far to see I can feel   Like a sonar... Continue Reading →

John Doe

He looks at me But he does not see me He sees through me But not to my soul his eyes Dark Black Lost They dart from corner to corner Not sure of where he is Not sure of who he is They pass judgment on you and I am so sorry They tell me... Continue Reading →

Do Not Let That Monster Out

I wonder sometimes How you smile throughout the day As you live in your façade Preaching for others to live their life As you flaunt yours But Do not forget that I know What lies beneath your skin I know the creature being held back By your dental veneer jail cell The beautiful smile you... Continue Reading →

All Of A Sudden I Hear Your Voice

Flipping through the stationary pictures Smelling the dress you left behind Reading the words you left on paper Collecting the scraps of what is left of you All of a sudden I hear your voice Radiating from the pinpoint speakers of my phone I hear your laughter I hear you giggle Tears streamed from my... Continue Reading →

He Is My Full Moon, He shines Bright For Me

"Masochist!" you scream It’s the only definition you could think of For the reason she stays there, Unmoved "Must be some kind of pleasure she gets" You think, "to be teased as she does" You watch her Looking up at the dreams she has built Heart growing with each pump Practically glowing from her chest... Continue Reading →

Pit In My Stomach, Where It Seems My Heart Has found a New Home

Those moments reappear at times the most unexpected -Driving -Singing Like being hit by a semi Heart drops Tear drops Pit in my stomach Where it seems my heart Has found a new home She likes to find herself On this trampoline That feeling Flying And the loss of ground while falling Up Down Up... Continue Reading →

What I Really Wish, Is To Have You

Finally unpacking my life from April   Going through the nik-naks   Smelling your favorite dress   With no hint of you left on it   Just the aroma of packing boxes   Hint of dust   Filtering among the cherished   And the heartbroken   Pictures that I saw the day we laid you... Continue Reading →

She Told Me To Love Myself For Who I Am

"she was my best friend, nobody knew me down to the depths of my soul like she did and no one knew her as much as I did.  If she came to visit me after death, I would know.  If she wanted me to know something, she would find a way to tell me.  If she wanted to be near me, I would feel her.  There is no possible way that her spirit could be near me without me knowing."

It was Beautiful when you played it out in my head

Maybe I'll take a page out of your story mother It was beautiful when you played it out in my head   Green backdrop Sun shining The smell of pine Or maybe forest The smell of bark Aroma of nature Because you were a wild woman That wanted to be set free   Surrounded by... Continue Reading →

Life will not stop for a life lost

In one phone call, my world came colliding down "she will miss you" - he said As a crackle in his voice slipped through the telephone waves Thousands of miles away That heartbreak only took a millisecond to deliver Even at that moment I felt emptiness Yet disbelief There is no way that the fire... Continue Reading →

The sight that my eyes behold

A picture Does not give justice To what the eyes can see The sparkles of the life below The blackness of the sea Each lantern A life that I could never know The sun set sky Vast in darkness Allowing the life of night Glow I want to capture this beauty Show you Somehow explain... Continue Reading →

He makes me feel beautiful

Its funny the way he treats me like treasure   As if he is blown away that I am even in his possession   As if Someone might try and steal me away at any moment   As if I may be made of gold   He jokes As if I fight away wolves on... Continue Reading →

Birthday Cake

I know it was just an Ice cream cake   But it really was so much more   It was the evisceration of all the sadness Spanning two failed relationships sitting within my gut   It was the eradication of ten years worth of broken promises   It was the first heartbeat that knew that... Continue Reading →

somewhere deep inside of me

Somewhere deep inside of me There is a glimmer of hope A spark of life An anchor Keeping me grounded Just to you   Somewhere deep inside of me Under years of confusion Beneath the rubble of many long fought wars Buried within the ashes of the reborn phoenix As it bursts into flames and... Continue Reading →

Goodbye : In One Word, a Whole Life is Erased

in a state of limbo during a time when I experienced the most change picking up my entire life for a new one Molding me into a robot working toward growth and improvement yet stagnant in life not wanting to let go because letting go means goodbye Because in one word, a whole life is... Continue Reading →

What is it that haunts you, boy?

What is it that haunts you, boy ? The acid that you spit from between your teeth The venom you conjure within your bowels Created by the hatred that you boil within Waiting for your top to explode What is it that is paining you, boy? I see between the hateful words that you spew... Continue Reading →


via The Daily Post: Uncompromising You Faceless joker Hooded creature You Core laugher Ice cold hugger You Uncompromising dealer Indian giver I said I want to make you a deal Give her more time You can have mine Do not walk away from me Eyeless sockets Do not look away from my glare You are... Continue Reading →


Fact : daily word prompt You awoken the fire inside of me - FACT   You lifted me higher than I had ever been - FACT   I had never felt more beautiful than when I was in your arms - FACT   And yet   You broke me - FACT   You didn't just... Continue Reading →


I hear the crack in her voice when she calls The happiness to hear me speak And the instant regret that I answered Because she will never see me again   She rushes off to say "I love you" And hangs up the phone   I am already in tears by the time I say... Continue Reading →

Puzzled – one word prompt

I watch him As he leaves you Puzzled When together I glare with a little envy The way he caresses your face The way he holds your hand Appearing as though he is the luckiest man in the world Kisses as though he needs you Guides you as though he wants to protect you from... Continue Reading →

The chaos calms me

An introvert in all aspects But a fire in my heart I love to sit within the madness Watch in utter calmness All the while A storm brews around me Chaos within all four corners Hectic vibrations And some how It creates a tunnel for me to focus Like the noise forms a bubble in... Continue Reading →

All I Ask

All I ask Is that when I am in my darkest hour You remain my light When I have no words For what aches inside me And tears fall without reason Don't turn to anger Don't question my love for you My love for you does not wane But All I ask Is that when... Continue Reading →

Coffee to my anxiety

You are the coffee to my anxiety You Syrupy sweet Masked by the product that brings most life Awakening aroma You Are exactly what I need To pick me up When I am dragging on the ground Yet you Bring on the palpitations You Give me a pit in my stomach Maybe butterflies Maybe fear... Continue Reading →

Seeing the lost in his eyes

As he asked her for help I knew it wasn't easy Pride aside Ego tucked in But she couldn't bother to Look up The selfish way that she rushed to finish her laundry Earbuds in No worry about the pain in another man's heart No worry about the confusion and embarrassment As he stared at... Continue Reading →

I guess I have some soul searching to do

School is finally out at least until February and a lot of things have been on my mind.  A friend of mine made a comment to me that with school over, now I have time to de-stress …. And somehow .. I am even more stressed, and this is what I have concluded as to... Continue Reading →

I may be nothing but a stranger

Never Silence the Madness

To the girl I met today,

I want you to know,

that I feel your torment.

In the way that you evade my eyes

in the way that your eyes gloss over

with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried

from the full of the moon

till it blessed us with its smile.

I know you are hurt.

I want you to know that you are not alone.

the crackle in your voice

caused by sobbing,

a throat, exhausted by the howling

I know that you are void of all happiness.

I have been there too.

your anger is too full right now,

your sadness is more

cavernous than the oceans combined,

but I am here

my small talk;

my attempts to distract you

from the agony you are feeling,

my venture to convince you that

I am right there beside you

I am trying to let you…

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When you think you see me

Never Silence the Madness

When she comes

It may be indistinguishable to you

You glance at me

And I smile back in return

Not one dew drop on my skin

You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have

You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner

You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle on every meal

You imagine the organized perfectly placed items on my desk

The friends I must surround myself with

The laughs I share

The memories I must have accumulated from the amazing life I lead

But you don’t know

You don’t know I’m tormented by something I want to call a she

Because what else could she be

She’s jealous

And controlling

She’s slick

And manipulative

She slithers gracefully

But a bite so poisonous

It creeps so slowly

Like Guillain-Barre

starting from my toes

Nerve by nerve

Muscle weakness

Lung paralysis

I cannot breathe

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Don’t lift me up to drop me 

Never Silence the Madness

I wrote this poem September 27, 2016

I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing.

Don’t you lift me up to drop me…

Don’t you dare fill me to the brim just to knock me over

The time it took to fill me

Drip by drip

Compliment after affection

Good deed after kisses on foreheads

Factor in the evaporation  equation

The occasional sip

Don’t you dare resuscitate this dying heart of mine

Just to pull the plug as I dream

As the pressure builds within my chest and the butterflies

Fling themselves against the walls of my thoracic cavity

Please don’t  intubate me

When its apparent that I can’t catch my breath

Don’t be afraid that I will detonate as the pressure becomes to strong for me…

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Dating Someone with Anxiety

-A boyfriend's Advice On a different post, I will dive into details about my journey with anxiety, but right now I feel like this is a post I really want to make.  What I want to say from the start is that, I am also new to anxiety, in the sense that, my awareness of... Continue Reading →

I’m sorry that I Hate Her

I'm sorry that I hate her With every vein in my body I hate her Innocent bystander To your wrong doings You hurt me Yet here I stand Unwavering By your side when I see her Innocent bystander My blood boils My fists clench My heart drops to the pit of my stomach And I... Continue Reading →

We are all Liars to some Extent

Fraud via Daily Prompt: Fraud We are all liars to some extent Compulsive Manipulative Liars   I know I lie Every day That I tell the world that I am okay I lie with every picture that I take The smile As if I'm happy The laugh As if I know laughter   The posts... Continue Reading →

Words Running through my Fingertips

I’ve always believed that I had words running through my fingertips   like water through a faucet   throughout my life, I’ve filled journal after journal   and the moment that you stepped into my life I became a blank page   one that I could not seem to fill   you rendered me speechless... Continue Reading →

Heart full of Tangled Emotions

how do you know you’re in love? with a head full of jumbled up thoughts and a heart stuffed with tangled emotions where does the thinking stop? where do the feelings begin? to feel as though- as though - and there I go…. not even knowing how to finish that sentence not being able to... Continue Reading →

Howl in hysterics

I was so engulfed in loving you immersed in the idea of us in the idea of you I began to lose the woman I was the woman I AM tossing my interests aside willing to forgo my passions relinquish my pleasures just to be with you now, where am I? not in the literal... Continue Reading →

I dance my way onward

rediscovering what life is like in a world devoid of your presence unearthing the ability to live a life where not every minute every moment of my day is engrossed in thinking about what you need with you missing from my life you would think my days would feel empty I was terrified that the... Continue Reading →

Woman Scorned

you may think hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but I tell you it is not the fury you need to be afraid of you may think the hurricane the damage the destruction is what causes your fear your angst your panic but I tell you fear the calm after the storm fear... Continue Reading →

Goals for 2018

Facing the end of 2017 means a lot of different things to me.  I started this journey in 2014, moving to Southern California alone almost on a whim when I got accepted into a nursing program.  2014 was a year of changes for me.  It was a year of GIANT decisions.  It was a year... Continue Reading →

Hydration at its Finest

Does anyone  else have a weird quirk about their water bottles?  I have always been very picky about my water bottles and I have gone through many, many, many, trials and errors.   This topic may be trivial to most, but I went through a long journey to find a "perfect" water bottle.  In my twenties,... Continue Reading →

Tame Me

via Daily Prompt: Tame Tame We knew what we were getting into When we set ourselves on the path Of falling in love The stars sang it to be so They said our skulls would be so thick We wouldn’t hear the mumbles coming from each others lips They said we would fight to be... Continue Reading →

The war between what I “believe” to be true

via Daily Prompt: Believe Believe The war between what I believe to be true And what my demons whisper Take my faith on a whirlwind roller coaster I am sorry that I hurt you That I take your love And your care That I take your gentle caress And each inch of effort that you... Continue Reading →

Lost Hills

Exit to the lost hills it said   Eerie it sounds Terrifying to most But somehow My first thought was I’d like to go there How scary could the lost hills be When I’m already lost Inside of me When I’ve been running blind for years There’s comfort in those lost hills Where one is... Continue Reading →

When you think you see me

When she comes It may be indistinguishable to you You glance at me And I smile back in return Not one dew drop on my skin You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle... Continue Reading →

And her name is …..

You run rampant Like a storytelling tinker bell Fluttering around my ear Beautiful maleficent The tulle off your tutu Making me sneeze As it grazes my nose But I can't see when I sneeze Eyes closed shut Head down I could crash a car If I sneeze when driving I could trip on the sidewalk... Continue Reading →

Broken pieces

I am more than just my pieces Every little broken piece, Every jagged edge A slice of a finger At the touch of my skin I am more than just my pieces I can't yearn for you to glue me together I can not look at you as though your job is to Make me... Continue Reading →

I may be nothing but a stranger

To the girl I met today, I want you to know, that I feel your torment.   In the way that you evade my eyes in the way that your eyes gloss over   with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried from the full of the moon till it blessed us with... Continue Reading →

Dimples, deep as the oceans

I have heard her say day after day how much she loved him I watched her carefully strut her way down the stairs Gentle hands gliding down polished banisters I gazed as I saw her purposely choosing every little morsel of lunch That would go with him that day to work Every ingredient chosen with... Continue Reading →


This was also written on September 27 2016  The end of my last relationship heightened all kinds of insecurities.  "why wasn't I good enough? why didn't he want me?" I felt, unattractive, I felt, unwanted.  When I found myself on a dance floor and it brought back the feelings of happiness, and loving myself, and... Continue Reading →

Don’t lift me up to drop me 

I wrote this poem September 27, 2016 I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing. Don’t you lift me up to drop me… Don’t you dare fill me to the brim just... Continue Reading →

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