He makes me feel beautiful

Its funny the way he treats me like treasure


As if

he is blown away that I am even in his possession


As if

Someone might try and steal me away at any moment


As if

I may be made of gold


He jokes

As if I fight away wolves on a daily


He acts as if I am the most beautiful woman

On this planet


He treats me

Like I am something so exquisitely rare and special


And every time

It boggles me


If only I could see myself through his eyes


If only I could feel what he feels when he touches me


If only my reflection

Was a mirror through his thoughts


Because I do not see what he sees in me


I do not know what he cherishes so dearly


But every time he calls me beautiful

A small chip on my shoulder is filled


Every time he tells he loves me exactly how I am

A small scratch is buffed out of my veneer


He doesn’t realize how beautiful he makes me feel


He doesn’t know that through his eyes

He saves me every day


And one day

I hope my own eyes will do the same



Birthday Cake

I know it was just an

Ice cream cake


But it really was so much more


It was the evisceration of all the sadness

Spanning two failed relationships sitting within my gut


It was the eradication of ten years worth of broken promises


It was the first heartbeat that knew that it was heard


It was just an ice cream cake


It was calories


And chocolate


It was just dessert  that said “happy birthday”


But to me


It was a sign that said


You cared when no one else would


It said you listened


When everyone else heard none




Because I knew you would never have a bite


It said that even though you wanted to give me more

You thought of me


It wasn’t until my 30th birthday

That I thought to myself


I am finally with a man that sincerely

loves me








somewhere deep inside of me

Somewhere deep inside of me

There is a glimmer of hope

A spark of life

An anchor

Keeping me grounded

Just to you


Somewhere deep inside of me

Under years of confusion

Beneath the rubble of many long fought wars

Buried within the ashes of the reborn phoenix

As it bursts into flames and is reborn again and again


Somewhere in this body of mine

Lost among the towers of memories

The emotions that I hoard

There is a tether


Constructed of diamonds

Embedded in titanium


Followed all the way to the end

And it is you


But how

How can I breathe

When I am saturated full with my tears

Dehydrated from the loss of my efforts

And drowning from my lungs brimming

With the need to scream


How will we survive

When the lack of windows

And my boiling blood

Create an atmosphere so dense

Most times we are so blinded

We cannot see


How will we push forward when beneath all the garbage

Mold is growing, overwhelmingly so

We are silently poisoning ourselves

We will one day be so nauseatingly sick

The sight of each other will undoubtedly

Bring us straight to our knees



Explain to me


We can either

Suffocate within the flames

Drag each other down


We can spend a lifetime

Trying to find our way

Untying our knots

Tripping over the piles of bad dreams

Search for all the keys to unlock all the locks


Scrambling to find the exit sign on different ends of this room

Stomping on top of  each other as we fight to find our  way there




We can box up the nightmares

Send them off to, who cares where

Sweep up the ashes

Into urns

Place them on mantles

To remind us that we have been through it all

And yet we are still here


Not just to survive

But to survive  together

Each urn

A decorated trophy

We have been through the worst

Yet this tether has shown no wear


We can pack up the memories

Store them in a place not to be forgotten

But to be forgiven

Because without them, who would we be,



We can give a good scrub

Buff the scars off of the floors

Wax the tile

So we can continue dancing

Without the friction of our history

Slowing us down


Because underneath all

The Bullshit

You are exactly who I want to call home



Goodbye : In One Word, a Whole Life is Erased

in a state of limbo

during a time when I experienced the most change

picking up my entire life for a new one

Molding me into a robot

working toward growth and improvement

yet stagnant in life

not wanting to let go

because letting go means


Because in one word, a whole life is erased

As if the last 6 years of my life meant nothing

as if the fights didn’t make us better and stronger people

as if the make ups didn’t mean we were so perfect for each other

like the children we acquired together

were no longer mine to love

saying goodbye


that the tears I cried into beach towels and tee shirts were washed away and dried at the laundry mat

ironed out 

every wrinkle and crease in my life

straightened out

with no hint of what was once there

the bleach from the laundry mat

the aroma

so pungent

the smell of


it burns my nostrils

it stings my eyes

yet I stand there 

watching my life turn round and round

like the clothes in the washer

encompassed in the bubbles

and when that light turns on

“ready for bleach”

I pour in that goodbye



watching every stain I’ve obtained

wash away

like the 6 years I have spent with you

dissipating into the bubbles

as I fold my clothes 

I think

this is what I am going to wear tomorrow

a new day

a new life

stepping out of


What is it that haunts you, boy?

What is it that haunts you, boy ?

The acid that you spit from between your teeth

The venom you conjure within your bowels

Created by the hatred that you boil within

Waiting for your top to explode

What is it that is paining you, boy?

I see between the hateful words that you spew

I see beneath the anti-Semitism

I see that under all the hate you have for her

You want her love

Maybe her approval

What happened along the way

That made her lose you?

What happened along the way

To make you think that flying was the only way out?

At 12 years old, how could you think that your only option

Was to take away choice?

I watch you throw your belongings

I watch as you break your only valuables

I listen as you joke about how little life means to you

About how your dying body is a body that you have no intention

Of saving

Nothing I say will make a difference now

I see that all I say is not even heard

But I hope one day, boy

You find all the answers that you need

I hope that one day your heart is filled with love

And you could show the world that the hurt does not

Control you


via The Daily Post: Uncompromising


Faceless joker

Hooded creature


Core laugher

Ice cold hugger


Uncompromising dealer

Indian giver

I said I want to make you a deal

Give her more time

You can have mine

Do not walk away from me

Eyeless sockets

Do not look away from my glare

You are not free from handicap

I see you do not glide like history portrays you

The scythe you carry

Brings fear to those

whose clock chimes

It’s time to meet you

I see

It is not a weapon

It is your aid

You are not free from decline and decay


Faceless joker

It is not a joke to me

Deal I said

Just compromise

I beg you

Don’t take her from me


Hooded creature

Heartless monster

Uncompromising dealer

I said

I want to make a deal


Fact : daily word prompt

You awoken the fire inside of me – FACT


You lifted me higher than I had ever been – FACT


I had never felt more beautiful than when I was in your arms – FACT


And yet


You broke me – FACT


You didn’t just not catch me when I fell

You dropped me – FACT


You reminded me that I was fire

And then made me feel as though

That fire just wasn’t enough – FACT


But amidst the flames

The soot

The smoke


I was reborn – FACT


And I love the person you reminded me that I am




I hear the crack in her voice when she calls

The happiness to hear me speak

And the instant regret that I answered

Because she will never see me again


She rushes off to say “I love you”

And hangs up the phone


I am already in tears by the time I say hello


My love for you spans oceans

And I am not ready for a goodbye


There will never be a right scenario

There will never be a perfect moment


I will never be okay

To having a sunrise without you on this earth

Saying goodbye with your hand in mine

Singing goodbye across the seas


Goodbye is a song that will never be okay

With me


We hardly speak now

For as I am rising

You are deep in dreams


The last time we saw each other

I did not want to pry you from my grasp

Yet we both stood strong




As I hugged you

As I waved

As I looked on


Cars drifting apart



As you flew farther and farther from me

My heart pulled like a magnet

I wanted you back

Knots in my throat


Please don’t let that be the last time

I am not ready to say goodbye


I hope that you know how deeply your blood runs through my veins

I hope you know, that you are the one person I love the most


My heart swells because of the love that you have given me throughout my lifetime


Every kiss you planted on my forehead

Every time you wrapped me and coddled me when I was sick


Trips to the library, while you listened to me read to you


You are the definition of what my heart is filled with

And I will not know how not to cry

When you are gone


Please don’t tell me that was our last



Because I need you here

Every morning

To say