Howl in hysterics

I was so engulfed in loving you

immersed in the idea of us

in the idea of you

I began to lose the woman I was

the woman I AM

tossing my interests aside

willing to forgo my passions

relinquish my pleasures

just to be with you

now, where am I?

not in the literal sense

not even in any other sense

just, who am I really?

having to relearn what my interests really are

needing to reignite the fire that was inside of me

thinking back to when and what truly brought pleasure to my life

and then, picking up a pen

placing it on paper

well…

that feels familiar

flipping through pages in a book

reawakening imagination

laughing again

not just a smirk

not just a giggle

but to howl in hysterics

soaking in the emotions and thoughts of others

enabling me to

pour out the emotions and thoughts of my own

and then I think I see a sparkle

better yet, a spark

taking a deep breath

filling my lungs with oxygen

allowing me to finally breathe

O how that glimmer of light

caught fire

O how that coldness turned to

warmth

I can feel myself returning

Out of the darkness

Into my heart

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