Facing the end of 2017 means a lot of different things to me.  I started this journey in 2014, moving to Southern California alone almost on a whim when I got accepted into a nursing program.  2014 was a year of changes for me.  It was a year of GIANT decisions.  It was a year of letting go and learning how to love myself.  It was a year of learning how to exist when you are no longer one half of a whole…. but the whole.  That was major to me.  I had spent ten years of my life being someones partner and I was all of a sudden faced with time to make decisions solely for my benefit.  I was faced with making choices just because I wanted to make them, not needing to be considerate of how my choices were going to affect my other half because I wasn’t a half any longer.

Fast forward…three years, I went through numerous challenges.  I took some time away from school and now after being on pause for a little while, I am back on the path to graduating.  Coming to the end of 2017, I am filled with joy that I am one step closer to accomplishing this goal that I started in 2014.  I have discovered things about myself that I hadn’t fully understood.  I have overcome a few really heavy bouts of anxiety and I have grown stronger.

Thanks to a blog that I read earlier by Discovering your happiness celebrating the accomplishments of this year, anticipating the marvelousness of the rest of the year, and contemplating the goals of the future, I have decided to put some thought about my goals for 2018 as well.

Some of my major goals are

❤ graduating on time in June

❤ passing the NCLEX soon after

❤ Getting hired as an RN

❤ enrolling in a BSN program

some of my personal goals are

❤ getting some money in my savings account

❤ finally reaching my goal weight

❤ upgrading my laptop

❤ hopefully getting a car

some of my mental health goals are

❤ taking part in a dance class that is a little more advanced than beginner

❤ overcoming my fears and singing karaoke outside of the comfort of my four walls

❤ learning how to feel confident and beautiful without the cover of make up on my face or an app filter to hide my imperfections

❤ realistically maybe being able to minimize the # of  full on panic attacks to like 2

❤ learning how to be a little bit selfish, because I have a problem with giving and giving and then feeling very empty when I’m left to struggle alone.  I’m not saying its bad to be giving, but sometimes a person can put themselves on the back burner because of their love for other people and hurt themselves over and over in the process.  It is time for self love.

okay, all of that sounds like way too much to focus on and accomplish in one year.  It’s giving me anxiety just thinking about it lol.  But hopefully this time next year, I am checking some of those major goals off my list and on to the next.  I’m sure there are more things that I want to accomplish, but as I sit here writing, I don’t want to overwhelm myself with things that I want done.

Thank you for reading my rant ❤

*featured picture is for my grandma because besides the drive to want to accomplish these things for myself…. She is my heart, and my everything, and out all the times I could of wanted to give up, I never could let her down.  She is both my weakness and my strength and 2018 is dedicated to her and all the dreams I know she is hoping for me to accomplish.  I want her to see me graduate.  I want her to see me succeed.  If I could say my goals and choices and actions were for anyone…. it would be for her ❤