Do Not Let That Monster Out

I wonder sometimes

How you smile throughout the day

As you live in your façade

Preaching for others to live their life

As you flaunt yours

But

Do not forget that I know

What lies beneath your skin

I know the creature being held back

By your dental veneer jail cell

The beautiful smile you flash

As that jaw is clenched

“do not let that monster out”

You tell yourself

But

Don’t forget

I know what lies within your heart

Your favorite paintings

Are those where your eyes are shut

Because you cannot stand to see the reflection

Of your soul

Seeping through the canvas

The fear of the realization of your dark heart

Frightens you

Because

Who are you?

If you are not caring

If you are not selfless

If your heart has not been touched by darkness

But

Don’t forget

I know what you are capable of

And if I were you

I wouldn’t want to look at my reflection

Either

All Of A Sudden I Hear Your Voice

Flipping through the stationary pictures
Smelling the dress you left behind
Reading the words you left on paper
Collecting the scraps of what is left of you

All of a sudden I hear your voice
Radiating from the pinpoint speakers of my phone

I hear your laughter

I hear you giggle

Tears streamed from my eyes

But I must say

It was such a

Treat

 

Fandago’s One Word Challenge

#FOWC

#Treat

 

He Is My Full Moon, He shines Bright For Me

“Masochist!”

you scream

It’s the only definition you could think of

For the reason she stays there,

Unmoved

“Must be some kind of pleasure she gets”

You think,

“to be teased as she does”

You watch her

Looking up at the dreams she has built

Heart growing with each pump

Practically glowing from her chest

As she awaits the arrival

Only to watch it be torn from the sky

You see her

Not a flinch

But silently

You gasp in horror

As she crouches on all fours

Bones cracking

Skin ripping

You watch

As she howls at the moon

“all you have to do is walk away”

You say

“the sun will never stop being torn away every night,
The moon will not ever stop being full at least once”

You claim

“this cycle will never change!
Please”

You say

“just walk away”

She looks at you

Tears in her eyes

Dampening the soul

She shed

Sprawled out on the floor

“but he is my full moon”

She whimpers

“he shines bright for me”

She whispers

“he makes me feel alive”

She cries

With all hope gone

You hide your face to say

“masochist…
Just walk away”

Pit In My Stomach, Where It Seems My Heart Has found a New Home

Those moments reappear

at times
the most unexpected

-Driving

-Singing

Like being hit by a semi

Heart drops

Tear drops

Pit in my stomach
Where it seems my heart
Has found a new home

She likes to find herself
On this trampoline

That feeling

Flying

And the loss of ground while falling

Up

Down

Up

Down

Each time breaking

Little tears

Mini scars

Myocarditis

Heart failure

Working so hard

Just to feel alive

Just to feel

Loved

What I Really Wish, Is To Have You

Finally unpacking my life from April

 

Going through the nik-naks

 

Smelling your favorite dress

 

With no hint of you left on it

 

Just the aroma of packing boxes

 

Hint of dust

 

Filtering among the cherished

 

And the heartbroken

 

Pictures that I saw the day we laid you to rest

 

Evidence that you loved us all so much more than we knew

 

Undeniable proof that you longed for us the same way

 

We longed for you

 

I hold each piece of your jewelry

 

As if

 

Somehow

 

If I could just gather them all

 

I could put you back together again

 

The necklace you wore the day you left us

 

The matching ring

 

The turquoise

 

The gold

 

The hearts

 

The stones

 

Holding each piece

 

Like each piece holds a piece of your soul

 

Maybe if I could just soak all of it in

 

I could have you back in my life

 

An old fashioned camera

 

Rolls of film

 

How I long for each roll

 

To fill me with memories I never had

 

Memories of your life that I never got to see lived

 

There is nothing more that I wish

 

Than to feel connected to you

 

Wishing I could wear every piece of jewelry at once

 

Wishing I could see life through your eyes

 

Read all the words that were written

 

As you bore your soul

 

All I have left are your pieces

 

Your pages

 

And what I really wish

 

Is to have you