Month: November 2020

You Came Into My Life When I Needed to Be Loved

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You came into my life when I was lost 

My Hurt echoed off of the walls 

Insecurities gunned me down

By the people that promised to keep me safe 

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Slumber within a prison that did not have any bars

Drowned by the monsoon they locked inside with me

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You came into my life when I was about to run away 

Everybody smiled in front of my face 

And hid the grenades 

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Eyes glued to the ground

Fear excruciatingly heavy 

I had nothing left 

My cries held no sound 

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You came into my life when I needed to feel loved 

You held my hand when I was falling 

Raised my chin up 

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And set my eyes right on you 

You set my feet atop your shoes 

“Do not run, I will walk with you” 

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You came into my life 

When I needed to be engulfed by the arms of someone’s hug 

You came into my life 

When I needed to feel loved 

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*picture is from my favorite Gelato place When I visited Rome Last Feb

Little Seed Planted in My Heart

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Whispers fill the room 

I can visualize it 

Like the notes on sheet music 

Flowing through 

Singing tune

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It’s like a little seed planted in my heart

Fertilized by anxiety

And the palpitations start 

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I cannot unsee 

What I think I have seen 

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Befell

The horror stories on my heart

I can’t un-tell  

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The room is stifling with 

Whispers 

And music 

With stories 

And lies 

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And that little seed within my heart 

Is the only plant I own

 That doesn’t seem to die

Delusions of Grandeur

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With empty eyes 

And a hollow heart 

You looked at me that night 

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You said goodbye 

With your chest puffed up

Above my line of sight 

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Peering down 

It’s plain as day to see 

You move with an air of confidence

Arrogance 

Far far better than me

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Their whispers became Screams 

Deep within your head 

The nagging echos 

Did not allow you to rest 

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You thrust your megalomaniacal words 

In my face 

You run away

Without haste

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My heart

Was never dear to your soul 

And I realized 

At that moment 

I meant nothing to you anymore 

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Falling Toward a Ground that was Never Meant to Catch You

Posted in Heart Full of Poetry / Mind Full of Words, Uncategorized, You Prompt Me3 Comments

They say my head is in the clouds 

Why? 

I dream too much? 

I think too highly of myself? 

My judgment is cloudy?

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They say to get my head out of the clouds

Why? 

Envious of the extent in which I dream? 

Of the height I allow myself to fall from? 

Because I know that I will survive 

And I will get right back up.

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I look above me 

How soft a place to lay upon 

Angelic 

Serene 

Spiritual 

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I can see the castles 

From just right here

Peaking 

Hiding 

Real 

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Once I have climbed all I can climb

Hoisted above the greatest arena 

I look below me 

And I see them 

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It is the most joyous first couple steps 

It is the bottomless hug I never knew I needed 

It is the cool condensation on a heatwave of a day 

It is the insulation on a chilly night 

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It is the infinity fall 

From a ground that was never meant to catch you 

It is your stomach flying out of your chest 

It is watching everything you hold dearly

Become engulfed in the comfort 

Or released in the mayhem 

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I can see the castles from here

I can hear the trumpets playing 

And the angels singing 

I am not afraid of the fall 

Because I know you are near me 

Not Sure What To Think…

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So, a few weeks ago, I had a dream about my mom for the first time in a while. There wasn’t a storyline, just a bunch of flashes. Random scenes and a general overall feeling of panic. The entire dream, all I felt was dread. I had no idea why I hadn’t talked to my mom in a while. I was so confused, wondering why in the world I felt like I hadn’t talked to my mom in a long time. I had flashes at my childhood home, watching my dad change a baby diaper, at Zumba dancing in front of the mirror, at a large property searching for my car, I felt like I was running around trying to figure out how to to talk to my mom again. I was trying to figure out, what app, what her username was, making an account. I just frantically wanted to talk to her.

It was then that I woke up. And for a split moment, I really truly wondered why I hadn’t talked to my mom in so long. Then it hit me, that I hadn’t talked to her, because she isn’t here anymore. An overwhelming sadness came through me because it was as if, for a moment, I was losing her all over again.

I get up, and I’m trying to shake off this feeling. I open Facebook and scroll for a moment and then this ad pops up:

For those of you that don’t know my mother, The wolf was her animal. She had multiple wolf decor at home and she had a wolf tattoo climbing up her hip. She called me baby girl growing up.

Anyway, coincidence or not, I was a balling baby after seeing this. I was so emotional for the rest of the day.

Moral of my story, I will always love and miss my mamas.

In My Darkest Moments, I Have Still been Someone’s light

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Today, I was honored to be presented with the DAISY award at my job.  It is an award to thank nurses for their compassion and skill.  You are nominated by patients, their family members, staff, or anyone that experiences or observes your extraordinary compassionate care.  

I received a beautiful bouquet, A hand carved statue called “the healer’s touch”, Cinnabons for myself and my team, but what meant the most to me was being able to hear the words written from the patients that nominated me and how I made a difference in their hospital stay.  

Their words meant the world to me, because some days are harder than others.  Some days you are running around non stop for the entire 12 hour shift.  Some days you are hurting or stressed in your own personal life.  Some days, you really need your coffee but haven’t had time to get it.  But, when you step into that patients room, you have the potential to be the brightness in their darkest day.  

When I decided to get into nursing, THAT was the reason I said  I wanted to be a nurse, to make a difference in someone’s darkest moments, and show them compassion and spread love.  And for my first year working as an RN, it fills my heart completely to know that I have accomplished that.  That even in MY darkest moments, I have still been able to shine light on someone.   

I love my team, because in every stressful situation at work, I have had someone  offer to help, ask if I’m okay, or even take initiative to help before I could even ask.  I have never once felt alone and I have always felt their support on the days that I really needed it.  Being honored with the DAISY award doesn’t just mean that people have viewed me as a compassionate nurse, it means that I have a team that allows me to be capable of keeping my spirits high day in and day out.  They inspire me every shift, in the ways that I could improve and be better.  They give me the tools to never have an empty cup to pour from.  

Some days could definitely be harder than others.  But today I am reminded that every day is worth it. 

Stunned at Your Vacuity

Posted in Heart Full of Poetry / Mind Full of Words, You Prompt MeLeave a comment

We spent the night together 

Wrapped in each other’s arms 

We tumbled through the universe 

Kept each other warm 

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We melded together 

Until our skin became one 

And when we relaxed under the stars

Our breath sang songs until the sun 

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In the morning 

I starred deeply into your eyes

All the sight

Your sight 

To see 

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You opened your mouth to speak 

And I was stunned 

At your vacuity 

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Caught between 

Should I stay 

Or should I go ?

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Should I pick 

My shame up off the floor ?

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Or should I give in

To my body 

Wanting more?

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Could I have a future 

With one so vacuous ? 

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To what extent 

Do thoughts and words fulfill us ? 

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As I painfully kiss 

Those lips goodbye 

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My heart still aches 

The painful truth

I cannot hide

*VACUITY poetry prompt