Countdown To The NCLEX

For those of you that don’t know what the NCLEX is, it is a giant test that stands between you and your dream of being a nurse.  It is a test to verify that you have enough knowledge in that pretty little noggin’ of yours to provide safe and quality care to your patients.  It…

My Heart In Pieces

How do I feel whole When my heart is scattered?   Scattered along the paths I’ve walked   Like breadcrumbs to remind me of my journey   I can look behind me And see the pieces of my heart   The pieces that are too far to see I can feel   Like a sonar…

John Doe

He looks at me But he does not see me He sees through me But not to my soul his eyes Dark Black Lost They dart from corner to corner Not sure of where he is Not sure of who he is They pass judgment on you and I am so sorry They tell me…

Do Not Let That Monster Out

I wonder sometimes How you smile throughout the day As you live in your façade Preaching for others to live their life As you flaunt yours But Do not forget that I know What lies beneath your skin I know the creature being held back By your dental veneer jail cell The beautiful smile you…

All Of A Sudden I Hear Your Voice

Flipping through the stationary pictures Smelling the dress you left behind Reading the words you left on paper Collecting the scraps of what is left of you All of a sudden I hear your voice Radiating from the pinpoint speakers of my phone I hear your laughter I hear you giggle Tears streamed from my…

He Is My Full Moon, He shines Bright For Me

“Masochist!” you scream It’s the only definition you could think of For the reason she stays there, Unmoved “Must be some kind of pleasure she gets” You think, “to be teased as she does” You watch her Looking up at the dreams she has built Heart growing with each pump Practically glowing from her chest…

Pit In My Stomach, Where It Seems My Heart Has found a New Home

Those moments reappear at times the most unexpected -Driving -Singing Like being hit by a semi Heart drops Tear drops Pit in my stomach Where it seems my heart Has found a new home She likes to find herself On this trampoline That feeling Flying And the loss of ground while falling Up Down Up…

What I Really Wish, Is To Have You

Finally unpacking my life from April   Going through the nik-naks   Smelling your favorite dress   With no hint of you left on it   Just the aroma of packing boxes   Hint of dust   Filtering among the cherished   And the heartbroken   Pictures that I saw the day we laid you…

She Told Me To Love Myself For Who I Am

“she was my best friend, nobody knew me down to the depths of my soul like she did and no one knew her as much as I did.  If she came to visit me after death, I would know.  If she wanted me to know something, she would find a way to tell me.  If she wanted to be near me, I would feel her.  There is no possible way that her spirit could be near me without me knowing.”

Forgive me

Forgive me LORD I do not think I have truly prayed to you Since the day that you took her home   It is not for lack of love It is not for lack of want It is not for gain of hatred It is not for gain of loss   Maybe I am not…

It was Beautiful when you played it out in my head

Maybe I’ll take a page out of your story mother It was beautiful when you played it out in my head   Green backdrop Sun shining The smell of pine Or maybe forest The smell of bark Aroma of nature Because you were a wild woman That wanted to be set free   Surrounded by…

Life will not stop for a life lost

In one phone call, my world came colliding down “she will miss you” – he said As a crackle in his voice slipped through the telephone waves Thousands of miles away That heartbreak only took a millisecond to deliver Even at that moment I felt emptiness Yet disbelief There is no way that the fire…

The sight that my eyes behold

A picture Does not give justice To what the eyes can see The sparkles of the life below The blackness of the sea Each lantern A life that I could never know The sun set sky Vast in darkness Allowing the life of night Glow I want to capture this beauty Show you Somehow explain…

He makes me feel beautiful

Its funny the way he treats me like treasure   As if he is blown away that I am even in his possession   As if Someone might try and steal me away at any moment   As if I may be made of gold   He jokes As if I fight away wolves on…

Birthday Cake

I know it was just an Ice cream cake   But it really was so much more   It was the evisceration of all the sadness Spanning two failed relationships sitting within my gut   It was the eradication of ten years worth of broken promises   It was the first heartbeat that knew that…

somewhere deep inside of me

Somewhere deep inside of me There is a glimmer of hope A spark of life An anchor Keeping me grounded Just to you   Somewhere deep inside of me Under years of confusion Beneath the rubble of many long fought wars Buried within the ashes of the reborn phoenix As it bursts into flames and…

Goodbye : In One Word, a Whole Life is Erased

in a state of limbo during a time when I experienced the most change picking up my entire life for a new one Molding me into a robot working toward growth and improvement yet stagnant in life not wanting to let go because letting go means goodbye Because in one word, a whole life is…

What is it that haunts you, boy?

What is it that haunts you, boy ? The acid that you spit from between your teeth The venom you conjure within your bowels Created by the hatred that you boil within Waiting for your top to explode What is it that is paining you, boy? I see between the hateful words that you spew…

Uncompromising

via The Daily Post: Uncompromising You Faceless joker Hooded creature You Core laugher Ice cold hugger You Uncompromising dealer Indian giver I said I want to make you a deal Give her more time You can have mine Do not walk away from me Eyeless sockets Do not look away from my glare You are…

Fact

Fact : daily word prompt You awoken the fire inside of me – FACT   You lifted me higher than I had ever been – FACT   I had never felt more beautiful than when I was in your arms – FACT   And yet   You broke me – FACT   You didn’t just…

Goodbye

I hear the crack in her voice when she calls The happiness to hear me speak And the instant regret that I answered Because she will never see me again   She rushes off to say “I love you” And hangs up the phone   I am already in tears by the time I say…

Puzzled – one word prompt

I watch him As he leaves you Puzzled When together I glare with a little envy The way he caresses your face The way he holds your hand Appearing as though he is the luckiest man in the world Kisses as though he needs you Guides you as though he wants to protect you from…

The chaos calms me

An introvert in all aspects But a fire in my heart I love to sit within the madness Watch in utter calmness All the while A storm brews around me Chaos within all four corners Hectic vibrations And some how It creates a tunnel for me to focus Like the noise forms a bubble in…

All I Ask

All I ask Is that when I am in my darkest hour You remain my light When I have no words For what aches inside me And tears fall without reason Don’t turn to anger Don’t question my love for you My love for you does not wane But All I ask Is that when…

Coffee to my anxiety

You are the coffee to my anxiety You Syrupy sweet Masked by the product that brings most life Awakening aroma You Are exactly what I need To pick me up When I am dragging on the ground Yet you Bring on the palpitations You Give me a pit in my stomach Maybe butterflies Maybe fear…

Seeing the lost in his eyes

As he asked her for help I knew it wasn’t easy Pride aside Ego tucked in But she couldn’t bother to Look up The selfish way that she rushed to finish her laundry Earbuds in No worry about the pain in another man’s heart No worry about the confusion and embarrassment As he stared at…

Crescent Moon

I’m not sure why, but, no matter what I am feeling, seeing the crescent moon in the sky brings me peace.

I guess I have some soul searching to do

School is finally out at least until February and a lot of things have been on my mind.  A friend of mine made a comment to me that with school over, now I have time to de-stress …. And somehow .. I am even more stressed, and this is what I have concluded as to…

I may be nothing but a stranger

Originally posted on Never Silence the Madness:
To the girl I met today, I want you to know, that I feel your torment. ? In the way that you evade my eyes in the way that your eyes gloss over ? with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried from the full of…

When you think you see me

Originally posted on Never Silence the Madness:
When she comes It may be indistinguishable to you You glance at me And I smile back in return Not one dew drop on my skin You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner You imagine…

Don’t lift me up to drop me 

Originally posted on Never Silence the Madness:
I wrote this poem September 27, 2016 I had found a happiness  but  with the same breath of this poem, and the fear of losing the love, I eventually let my anxiety tear apart what had become amazing. Don’t you lift me up to drop me… Don’t you…

Dating Someone with Anxiety

-A boyfriend’s Advice On a different post, I will dive into details about my journey with anxiety, but right now I feel like this is a post I really want to make.  What I want to say from the start is that, I am also new to anxiety, in the sense that, my awareness of…

I’m sorry that I Hate Her

I’m sorry that I hate her With every vein in my body I hate her Innocent bystander To your wrong doings You hurt me Yet here I stand Unwavering By your side when I see her Innocent bystander My blood boils My fists clench My heart drops to the pit of my stomach And I…

We are all Liars to some Extent

Fraud via Daily Prompt: Fraud We are all liars to some extent Compulsive Manipulative Liars   I know I lie Every day That I tell the world that I am okay I lie with every picture that I take The smile As if I’m happy The laugh As if I know laughter   The posts…

Words Running through my Fingertips

I’ve always believed that I had words running through my fingertips   like water through a faucet   throughout my life, I’ve filled journal after journal   and the moment that you stepped into my life I became a blank page   one that I could not seem to fill   you rendered me speechless…

Heart full of Tangled Emotions

how do you know you’re in love? with a head full of jumbled up thoughts and a heart stuffed with tangled emotions where does the thinking stop? where do the feelings begin? to feel as though- as though – and there I go…. not even knowing how to finish that sentence not being able to…

Howl in hysterics

I was so engulfed in loving you immersed in the idea of us in the idea of you I began to lose the woman I was the woman I AM tossing my interests aside willing to forgo my passions relinquish my pleasures just to be with you now, where am I? not in the literal…

I dance my way onward

rediscovering what life is like in a world devoid of your presence unearthing the ability to live a life where not every minute every moment of my day is engrossed in thinking about what you need with you missing from my life you would think my days would feel empty I was terrified that the…

Woman Scorned

you may think hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but I tell you it is not the fury you need to be afraid of you may think the hurricane the damage the destruction is what causes your fear your angst your panic but I tell you fear the calm after the storm fear…

Goals for 2018

Facing the end of 2017 means a lot of different things to me.  I started this journey in 2014, moving to Southern California alone almost on a whim when I got accepted into a nursing program.  2014 was a year of changes for me.  It was a year of GIANT decisions.  It was a year…

Hydration at its Finest

Does anyone  else have a weird quirk about their water bottles?  I have always been very picky about my water bottles and I have gone through many, many, many, trials and errors.   This topic may be trivial to most, but I went through a long journey to find a “perfect” water bottle.  In my twenties,…

Tame Me

via Daily Prompt: Tame Tame We knew what we were getting into When we set ourselves on the path Of falling in love The stars sang it to be so They said our skulls would be so thick We wouldn’t hear the mumbles coming from each others lips They said we would fight to be…

The war between what I “believe” to be true

via Daily Prompt: Believe Believe The war between what I believe to be true And what my demons whisper Take my faith on a whirlwind roller coaster I am sorry that I hurt you That I take your love And your care That I take your gentle caress And each inch of effort that you…

Lost Hills

Exit to the lost hills it said   Eerie it sounds Terrifying to most But somehow My first thought was I’d like to go there How scary could the lost hills be When I’m already lost Inside of me When I’ve been running blind for years There’s comfort in those lost hills Where one is…

When you think you see me

When she comes It may be indistinguishable to you You glance at me And I smile back in return Not one dew drop on my skin You imagine to yourself what kind of life I may have You imagine the cupcakes I must eat for dinner You imagine the sugar and spice I must sprinkle…

And her name is …..

You run rampant Like a storytelling tinker bell Fluttering around my ear Beautiful maleficent The tulle off your tutu Making me sneeze As it grazes my nose But I can’t see when I sneeze Eyes closed shut Head down I could crash a car If I sneeze when driving I could trip on the sidewalk…

Broken pieces

I am more than just my pieces Every little broken piece, Every jagged edge A slice of a finger At the touch of my skin I am more than just my pieces I can’t yearn for you to glue me together I can not look at you as though your job is to Make me…

I may be nothing but a stranger

To the girl I met today, I want you to know, that I feel your torment.   In the way that you evade my eyes in the way that your eyes gloss over   with the pink tinge of a girl that has cried from the full of the moon till it blessed us with…

Dimples, deep as the oceans

I have heard her say day after day how much she loved him I watched her carefully strut her way down the stairs Gentle hands gliding down polished banisters I gazed as I saw her purposely choosing every little morsel of lunch That would go with him that day to work Every ingredient chosen with…