Not Sure What To Think…

So, a few weeks ago, I had a dream about my mom for the first time in a while. There wasn’t a storyline, just a bunch of flashes. Random scenes and a general overall feeling of panic. The entire dream, all I felt was dread. I had no idea why I hadn’t talked to my mom in a while. I was so confused, wondering why in the world I felt like I hadn’t talked to my mom in a long time. I had flashes at my childhood home, watching my dad change a baby diaper, at Zumba dancing in front of the mirror, at a large property searching for my car, I felt like I was running around trying to figure out how to to talk to my mom again. I was trying to figure out, what app, what her username was, making an account. I just frantically wanted to talk to her.

It was then that I woke up. And for a split moment, I really truly wondered why I hadn’t talked to my mom in so long. Then it hit me, that I hadn’t talked to her, because she isn’t here anymore. An overwhelming sadness came through me because it was as if, for a moment, I was losing her all over again.

I get up, and I’m trying to shake off this feeling. I open Facebook and scroll for a moment and then this ad pops up:

For those of you that don’t know my mother, The wolf was her animal. She had multiple wolf decor at home and she had a wolf tattoo climbing up her hip. She called me baby girl growing up.

Anyway, coincidence or not, I was a balling baby after seeing this. I was so emotional for the rest of the day.

Moral of my story, I will always love and miss my mamas.

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