Self Love is Where Mirrors Do Not Exist

The funny thing, or not so funny thing,  about our perception of beauty towards others and towards ourselves, is that they are on completely different scales.  I run around all day seeing the beauty in other women.  I hear their insecurities, but think how there is no need for the harsh words they tell themselves.  Only to realize that I am not much nicer to myself.  

It dawned on me recently.  An epiphany , if you will.  That I feel the most beautiful, I love myself the most,  when mirrors are not around to remind me what society expects me to look like.  

Let me try to explain that a little better…. 

In my apartment, I didn’t have a full sized mirror until maybe, last week.  It wasn’t on purpose, I was honestly just too lazy to buy a mirror and when I was out shopping, I just happened to forget to buy one.  In the sanctuary of my own home, with no one else’s judgment upon me and no mirrors to place judgement on myself, I did not feel the burden of my insecurities.  

On top of that, I have a boyfriend that always makes me feel beautiful.  Somehow, I am not sure how he does it, but, he makes me feel like no one else exists, but me.  He makes me feel like I am some model or beauty queen.  With no mirrors around, I begin to have this picture in my mind of what I must look like.  I feel love for myself and pride in my body, in my beauty.  

Sadly, that amount of self love drops a little when we leave home and I’m bombarded with reflections making me feel as though the perception I had of myself was just a dream.  

That is when I got to thinking.  

What is actually making me feel so insecure? 

How can I feel confident one moment, and then so little the next? 

Is it actually me? 

Is my reflection actually giving me feelings of disgust? 


It is not who you are that makes you feel uncomfortable in your skin.  It is not the placement of your features.  It is not the size of your waist.  


Social norms…

Generations of the ideal person engrained in others’ minds….

Opinions of others…. 

Judgement … 

These are the things that feed our insecurities.  These are the things that make us think, that freckles were once meant to be disguised and now should be exposed.  These are the things that trick us into thinking natural is beauty but yet, it is better to paint a natural looking beauty on your face than just loving the actual natural beauty that you are.  Social media and the TV convince us that our eyes are too small, our lips are too thin, our hips too slim.  Some want sun kissed, some say stay out of the sun.

We really have to remember that the “ideal beauty” has changed over time, over and over again.  There is no such thing as perfection.  There is no such thing as an ideal look.  

We are all beautiful in every form and we need to love ourselves.  We need to teach our children to love themselves. 

Create goals to be healthy mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.  

Not to gauge our self love by the number on the scale, the circumference of our waist or the reflection in the mirror.  

Who says that mirror is accurate anyway ❤